Yeah good article But not for me. My mother has threatened to physically assault me, kept my beloved grandmother from me when she was dying never allowed me to tell her goodbye , and many other mean things. If you tell her about your problems, does she easily find a way to turn them around so they're actually her problems? It's my fault he's depressed, my fault he has a bad self-image, my fault he can't stand to be around me yet he can never seem to explain why he can't stand to be around me---though I've asked repeatedly and all he ever says is I've tried to tell you already--what's the use? I myself attempted suicide many times, I ran away and was extremely self destructive. This was a much needed read for me. I feel that I have to do do what everyone else is doing to fit in. The boundaries were washed away in bottles of chardonnay and mothers and daughters were sharing sex stories and picking up men together at bars. That made me scared and for some reason, make me hate myself even more.
Married at age 22 to another guy he is 10 years older. This kept me from making friends as well in fear of being perceived as damaged. Heck, this is like a car crash on bad memory-lane :T. Well, my mother did all of these things. I write, you may draw or paint or sing or play an instrument, or maybe you write to. I still wonder if i am doing wrong by keeping her around.
Then i feel extremely guilty about it! Or maybe you're on the other end of the situation in the first entry -- you messaged an acquaintance with a happy birthday and you got cold, dead silence in return. I was not allowed to even look at boys directly. In all honestly i dont think theres anything positive about myself, i dont see why anyone would be attracted to me, or be interested in getting to know me. Everyday at school is like a raging war of anxiety attacks. My mother makes me feel like a pathetic loser just for wanting her approval. Entire governments have fallen this way.
Mostly from any kind of male figure. They only call because they are required to honor her Honor thy father and thy mother. Being in the same room as her, makes me sickened. She used to give me details about how he cheated on her and with who never knew if it was truth tough, my father always said it wasnt truth. Yeah, they are like Jekyl and Hyde, definitely try and distance yourself. But that doesn't mean that the best or only thing that you can do is either take it or become involved in constant fights that make you feel like the worst version of yourself. Today I had a math test, I gave my paper and then waited for everyone else to get out of class.
She never tries to fix anything and 5 minutes later she will bring something trivial up like nothing ever happened. If she hated you, she wouldnt be bothered with what you were doing. Not that I ever stopped loving her. I will watch others relentlessly and I will judge their every move around me. At the moment she has confined me to my room. So at this point, I feel like I'm being a fool. Ive already left once but I know that the smartest thing to do right now is live at home and do community college b4 I leave to dorm at my 4 year college.
We can simply blame the past incarnations of people who do us wrong, and give them a chance to prove they've changed into someone we can like. The funny thing is I am villainized for attempting to set boundaries or staying away. Everyone knows that judgement based on appearance is incorrect in general, however everyone does it. But if your mother is focused on making sure that everyone pays attention to her, at the expense of showing any interest in you, then you are probably dealing with a toxic relationship. In addition, she has brainwashed me since i was a child to believe that i will never be good enough to be loved by anyone. I have spent the last 11 years of my life desperately trying to show him that I love him, accept him and would do anything for him. It probably started when I did badly on my midterm.
EbrahimAseem You chose to have her. He always revert back to things not going right with things at hone when we argue. And I'm ready to find answers! However, she makes this almost impossible. I happen to be kind of overweight and this has always been my major problem. But instead of spending time with me, she occupies her with one thing or tge other. Just as many young women are more of a mother to their own mother than their mother is to them; your spirit is the mother of your body and soul. The next morning I get a call from my son asking if they could come over.
Good luck and stay the course. But Im stressed too, and I dont ignore him, I dont ask him to move away from me when our bodies touch in bed, I try and give kisses and say goodnight, I pray like crazy trying to find a way to fix this. Especially putting on one face in front people and another face for family. I am fighting the ghosts of my past and i am trying to get the best of life and be a better woman and stronger mom. Also another point you made was that we would rely on our mothers when we where young for food.
Basically, I do my best not to give her the chance to mess with me. I am 54, and I have felt that way since I was 15 and it only gets worse. The thing is that I think that if anybody is going to marry me he is not going to be happy because of my appearence……. However she too, is now being bullied, by the children of the monsters that picked on me back in my high school days. Now they're bitter and you're confused because, well, who would ever assume that silence is an insult? But when he speaks he has so much hatred , my husband has given up on him ever being normal with us. In many cases, they mean it honestly -- I'm not angry at anyone, I just want to leave things the way they are.